Sunday, July 18, 2010

getting over nerves

A pair of flights will in a few hours deliver me unto Durham, NC, where I will for one week attend a "law preview" camp. Two months prior I was sent a textbook to read in preparation -- only a third has been consumed, due in part to finishing my last Australian semester. Pressure builds, my unpreparedness a burden on my piece of mind. Classes run from as early as 7:30 straight through to 5pm, leaving little time to catch up.

But beyond the legal nerdfest there is much to accomplish: a car is to be purchased, insurance obtained. I will be staying this week in the same condo I'll occupy during the coming semester, and details with my landlord will be settled. My sister-in-law gives her defense (PhD in computer science!) -- should I cut class to attend? Durham must be explored. And then the day after the course finishes I'll drive back to Wisconsin: 17 wheelhours through states I've never visited.

Last night a pit of tension filled my stomach, making dinner completely unappetizing.

Where did my piece of mind go? Why can't I take my own advice?


I realized last night I wasn't going to finish the textbook, so I just put it down! Felt so good! Next, I just watched my brain as I freaked out a little. If I really just watched my thoughts, felt my tensed tummy and shortened breath, then it all just seemed ridiculous and started to fade. I decided I didn't really care to be stressed out anymore, so set about not being stressed.

"Let's just see what happens in Durham," I said to myself. "I don't have to absolultely maximize the potential of every moment, after all. I'm not getting graded on this course. In fact, I don't even have to attend every class!"

Finally, I was able to say to myself, "I don't mind what happens on this trip."

A low, steady thrum was coming from outside: pounding rain. I saw the beauty of the cascading drops, undistracted by anything in next week's Durham, and giggled.


  1. Enjoy it!

    Well not law school camp, nothing related to law school can be fun, can it? At least I don't think so since the student body constituting law school is generally insane and ridiculously one dimensional (read: elitest shmucks who think law is EVERYTHING).

  2. Haha thanks! The camp thing wasn't bad except for being remarkalby boring -- mainly because for me it was review.

    I love when people talk about "the law" instead of just "law". I think I or should strive to become one.